Wednesday, August 6, 2008

My Birthday

So, my birthday was last weekend. I am now officially "Advanced Maternal Age." I guess technically I was AMA before (they calculate it based upon how old you are going to be on the date of delivery, not before then). I hate the label, but it is allowing me to get all sorts of tests performed, and it's very reassuring when things turn out okay. For example, I had the nuchal translucency test and genetic testing early on in my pregnancy and, most recently, I am scheduled for biweekly non-stress tests. The latter involves me sitting in a comfortable chair listening to the baby's heartbeat while the monitor records fetal movement (maybe not necessarily in that order). That is followed by an ultrasound to detect amniotic fluid levels, which basically means more time for me to actually see and hear the little one inside. The catch? I was supposed to start the NSTs last week but, due to insurance reasons, they wouldn't let me start until this week -- after I technically turned 35. Unbelievable.

Another significant aspect of this birthday is that it marks the one year anniversary of the date I first went to my RE's office for help. I was so comforted by my new doctor, and I left there convinced that my birthday on that date was truly a "sign" (the office staff made a big deal about it while I was there as well). My husband and I have been through so much this past year, and we are in such a good place now. I really feel like everything is finally falling into place with us, and with our family, and I never want to take this miracle for granted. Part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop -- after all, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we're not exactly there yet -- I don't know that I will feel truly at ease until I am holding this baby in my arms. I know that sounds pessimistic, but I think I have really trained myself to be nothing more than "cautiously optimistic" when it comes to this baby (it's a huge step that I'm even using the "B" word at this point). I really attribute that to our infertility and subsequent IVF -- I wonder if parents who conceive naturally have all these feelings? I think having gone through what we went through really makes us painfully aware of everything that can possibly go wrong. In any case, it makes me truly thankful for what I have, and I will treasure this experience all the more.

Finally (and there is absolutely nothing significant about this), I had a blast on my birthday. My husband has been so wonderful over the past few months, I told him I didn't want a gift. I told him that, instead, I just wanted us to have a "fun day out." He and my uncle decided to take me to the County Fair (the last day was actually on my birthday). I can't really walk due to the Evil Crotch Pain, so they rented a wheelchair and pushed me around. We spent the whole day just laughing and talking and eating everything FRIED (I'm not kidding -- funnel cakes, deep fried Snickers bars, deep fried Oreos) -- it was a pregnant woman's fantasy!