Open Letter To The Woman Who Called Me At Work Monday

Your “apology” is not accepted. Your behavior – not only in sleeping with my husband two years ago, but in purposefully and deliberately researching where I work for the sole purpose of tracking me down two years later to inform me of the affair – is nothing short of disgusting. That you would even dare to assume I would be naïve enough to thank you for giving me that information, let alone treat your veiled “apology” as anything short of a malicious attempt to get back at my husband by destroying his marriage, is incredible to me. You are the most selfish person I have ever known.

My husband told me everything. He cried. He sobbed. He answered every question I asked. He knew how important it was for me to know each and every detail and, as difficult as it was for him, he looked me in the eyes and told me the truth. He told me of meeting you on your business trip only a few weeks after he and I were engaged to be married. He told me how you went out for dinner and drinks and how you told him all about your abusive husband of the past 15 years. He told me how he listened, how he felt sorry for you, how at some point it became less of a business dinner and more of a date. He told me how you asked him to come back up to your room, you were afraid to be alone in a strange city. I don’t, by any means, hold him without fault, but it was a game for you – and I’m willing to bet this was not the first or the last time you have preyed on someone like my husband. Tell me, do you win by luring the man out of his happiness and into your own miserable world? Are you able to convince yourself that all men are horrible creatures, not just your own husband, when you get a man to cheat on his wife or girlfriend for you? Do you hate yourself that much?

It was somewhat comforting for me to learn that my husband has been suffering with crippling guilt over the past two years – he does deserve that. What he didn’t deserve was your blackmail – your telling him you would find me and call me immediately if your husband ever found out. Think about it –over the past two years my husband has sent you pictures of us, our wedding, our home, trying to convey to you how happy we were so you would leave him alone. What have you sent him? Pictures of your family, your children, with your husband cut out of the picture. Have you ever seen Fatal Attraction? Do you know how psychotic that is???

I can understand your husband’s rage when he found those photographs in your email account – he was probably suspicious of a different, more recent affair when he found those emails. I’m sure he questioned, how dare you bring your children into this?? I can fully understand your husband’s need to confront my husband – to acknowledge the affair was two years ago, but to demand that my husband never call or speak to you again. My husband agreed to stay away from your family and your husband agreed that you and he would stay away from ours. I applaud the way your husband handled the situation, and cannot even imagine what he must be going through – it must cut very deep to learn that your wife of 17 years has been chronically unfaithful. I don’t believe that your husband knows about the subsequent harassing phone calls you made to my husband at work, or to me at work, for that matter. Your statement to me on the phone when I asked why you were calling me, telling me that you were doing this for your husband, was disingenuous at best. After all, it’s been two years – why now?

It’s out in the open now, and you have no more leverage against my husband. He no longer has any reason to continue to correspond with you, now that I know everything and the threat of you telling is over. Stay away. I don’t know if our marriage will survive this, but that is my decision to make. It is empowering to know that we have only been married a little over a year and that we don’t have any children to stay together for – if we do stay together, it would be purely for the right reasons, and it will all come down to just us. We will be that much stronger as a couple – all in spite of you. If we don’t stay together, rest assured that it will not be due to your misguided act of vengeance.

I only wish you everything you deserve.

Rebecca