Risotto Therapy

First, on the fertility front -- I am rapidly approaching CD1 (not even venturing to think there is even a remote possibility that I am pregnant this cycle -- that would be too cruel a twist of fate). I have had spotting consistently now for 9 straight days. It's kind of alarming -- I told my doctor a while back how I would frequently have spotting not quite early enough to be ovulation, and not quite late enough to be implantation -- he brushed me off. Now I've had this for 9 days and if it weren't for the fact that the past two weeks have been the most emotional of my life (am I kidding myself to think that my mental state is affecting my cycle?), I'd be pounding on his door demanding an explanation. My husband kindly offered to stop his self-flaggelation (I am of course speaking metaphorically) long enough to take me to Urgent Care, but I politely declined. So much for my new Type B personality.

Having a desperate need for an outlet over the past two weeks, I decided to try my hand at homemade risotto. I absolutely love to cook, but I can honestly say that, to date, nothing has been so therapeutic or offered me as much peace as my risotto experiment. It is not only a comfort food to eat, but to actually prepare. Now, if you've ever made risotto before, you know the amount of attention it requires -- you can't just passively put it on the stove and leave it. There are certain steps involved -- you need to saute the onion, saute the risotto, add the white wine (or vermouth -- I've discovered that it's much more resourceful to save the wine for drinking) until it is absorbed, and then gradually add several cups of chicken stock, a ladle-ful at a time, until each is absorbed by the rice. It is a very slow process, requiring a lot of patience (which I typically don't have), but the delightful smells that fill the kitchen (particularly at the moment of adding the white wine or vermouth) and the ritual of the preparation, have an extremely calming effect. Over the past couple of weeks I have made every possible variation -- risotto alla milanese, risotto with green apple and gorgonzola, spicy risotto with red snapper, chicken and basil risotto, risotto with proscuitto and sun-dried tomatoes, and risotto with spicy Italian sausage. I am obsessed.